The Oracle of Apollo Snippets from the life of Apollo Lee

Horny Month

Yeah, I’ve been really horny this month. Really horny. I have purchased, like, five new horns off eBay in the last month or so. Horns galore!

What did I get? Here we go:

Jupiter flute in C. My major instrument in college was flute. I’m trying to build my jazz chops again and that means retiring (or reserving it for beach parties and the like) my Bundy student model flute. If you have to fight your horn, get a better horn. The Jupiter has aggressive action and a big bold sound that proclaims its jazzability in a very decisive manner.

Selmer clarinet in B♭. I haven’t owned a clarinet in some time, since I gave my sister’s clarinet away to someone in my family. I really have to practice sight reading in the chalumeau register, because the clarinet overblows by an octave and a fifth (the saxophone and flute overblow an octave). Getting through the neck is tricky for me, like many novices or out-of-shapers, and avoiding the squawk as I land on B natural in the clarion register is going to take some practice.

Bundy alto clarinet in E♭. I played the alto clarinet in a couple of ensembles in college, here and there. I got this because I’d been sniped on two bass clarinets in a row and the alto clarinet is on the road. Besides, it’s in E♭. Having horns in different keys is good for learning tunes in all twelve keys.

Tenor saxophone in B♭. This is the big daddy. She’s shiny and pretty and it’s been too long since I rocked out on tenor. This was the fourth tenor I bid on, after snipers took three of them in a row in the last 15 seconds of the auctions. Horns are very competitive on eBay. I got this after I overbid the top bidder by $150 with 90 seconds left in the auction. I got it for $7 more than I had bid on it an hour earlier. Yay for wins!

Pedler bass clarinet in B♭. Again, the fourth bass clarinet I bid on. The previous three were sniped like the tenors, mainly by instrument resellers. Finally, I got this one and I’m really looking forward to getting it. I loved playing bass clarinet in ensembles in college and it’s going to be nice to own the first one of my life. This wood-bodied instrument is sure to blow me out of the sky.

Yay for horniness!

There Ought to Be a Law

Reviewing my credit report is fun. First, only Experian would give me my free report online. The other two wanted me to fill out a PDF and fax it into them. You might think that’s because they’ve got the security of my sensitive personal information in mind.

No, they don’t, actually. Every day, I get pitches from student loan consolidation companies, credit card companies, and even car companies, who got my address from a credit bureau and the DMV. When I look at my credit report and see 50 requests from 24 companies in the last year, I notice many of them are commercial student loan consolidation or credit card companies. My personal information is apparently much hotter than I am. It’s been touched by myriads of hands all over this country and they’re all feverishly looking for ways to get into my pants (at least for my wallet).

I would like to find a way to deny these bastards from buying and selling my information. At least, if they want to pitch me on something useless or send me an envelope with a menacing “OFFICIAL USE ONLY. PRIVATE USE PROHIBITED UNDER PENALTY OF LAW” notice on it, they should be good enough to give me a little fun out of it. They should fly the hottest person at their company to my house to give me a thrill. Until they start to do that, is there anybody who knows how to keep my private information in my feverish perverted hands?

I Should Have Simply Driven

Returning home from Idaho at Christmas time is usually not much of a challenge. After getting dropped off at the curb on Wednesday, I fully expected to get on my four o’clock flight and be home around 5:30 or 6. With my car parked at San Jose, it would be a relatively painless procedure to snatch my luggage off the baggage claim, jump the long term parking shuttle, and find my car.

There was an unusually long line at the Horizon counter. Then, the woman asked “Are you going to San Jose?” “Yes.” “Flights to San Jose are cancelled today.” “Can you rebook me?” “All flights to San Jose are cancelled. We’re going to have to rebook you.”

Side note: Quote of the day: “Attention in the Terminal. A can of Copenhagen has been left at the security checkpoint. Please come back to security to claim it.”

I rebooked on Delta Airlines, to depart on Thursday in the afternoon. Horizon was good enough to put me up in a hotel nearby—the same hotel I stayed in when I was enlisting in the Army 16½ years ago. Jay came by, picked me up, took me to downtown Boise for Mexican food, and watched a movie with me. Downtown Boise is cute, as opposed to the absolutely stupefying amount of sprawl the area is building lately (Boise has doubled in size over the last 15 years).

My flight from Boise to Salt Lake City was delayed 45 minutes. This landed me on the tarmac in Salt Lake City with just enough time for my luggage to make the connection to San Jose, but for me not to. 12 of us scrambled as the San Jose-bound flight pushed back with a dozen of us trying to make it onto our flight. So, they put me on standby for the 5:00 flight. Nope, that one’s full. Finally, I’m confirmed on the 9:10 flight to San Francisco, otherwise I might not get out of Utah Thursday night.

9:10 turned to 10:30 turned to 11:15 turned to 11:45. Fortunately, I was able to reach Emmett who agreed to pick me up at SFO at 1:30 in the morning, drive me to San Jose to attempt to pick up my luggage, and on home. Fortunately, I was able to get my car at 2, but not my luggage.

If I had talked the Horizon counter person on Wednesday into refunding my return flight, I could have gone downstairs, rented a car for a one-way trip to San Jose, and made it home a day earlier than I did. If I had grabbed a couple of my fellow passengers, we could have split the rental car and the driving. Boise is 665 miles, according to Google maps, from San Jose. So, if I had averaged 20 miles per hour in that rental car, I’d have gotten home at the same time I did. Leaving at 4:30 in the afternoon (Mountain Time) and driving the speed limit would have seen me walking through my door a day earlier than I did. I’m very grumpy now.

<gesture type=”shake” organ=”fist” target=”The air travel industry in the United States” />

Blackberry Pearl

After my big spills this afternoon, my phone needed to be replaced. It’s full of sea water and it doesn’t power up. So, off to the T-Mobile store in Sunnyvale with me.

I’ve been toying with the idea of acquiring a Sidekick 3 for some time, but it seems like more of a toy to me than a productive communications tool. Several of my friends have the Sidekick and I’ve always thought that the flip screen was nifty, but sort of unweildy. On top of that, the unit is big and very expensive. So, I decided to keep my options open.

I thought about the big wide fat Blackberry, but that one also costs $350, doesn’t have a camera, and is sort of difficult to stuff in a pocket. Then, I saw it. So sexy. So sleek. So powerful. With the 1.3 megapixel camera and lots of applications, I just had to ask the price. They quoted me a price $50 below the marked price, since I’ve been a customer so long. That cinched the deal. I now carry the Blackberry Pearl.

The browser doesn’t support stylesheets, but this phone is really small, so that’s expected. The built-in bluetooth lets me surf the web from my laptop from anywhere I have signal, like when I go to Grandma’s house in Idaho for Christmas. This little guy is loaded with features. The full keypad makes texting easy, so I can use dodgeball or twitter much more easily than I could when I used the Nokia.

Yay, new technology!

Twice in the Drink

Today, I went kayaking with Ozreiuosn. It was pretty windy and the wind came from quite an unusual direction. No matter how hard I tried, I could not keep my kayak tracking straight though the water. The more I paddled on the right side (which is supposed to turn the craft left), the more it wandered right. I could paddle straight and I would go in almost a complete circle. With each stroke, I became more pissed and more frustrated and more exhausted.

At mile 1.7, she agreed that we could turn around and head to a dock to see why my skeg wouldn’t drop into the water and help me track straight. We didn’t make it that far. Breezy winds kept messing with me and I kept struggling to maintain control of my craft. And then it happened. With Oz about 200 feet in front of me, I listed port and tried a brace, but not in time. Five seconds later, I’m in the water. {Oakland Estuary water is COLD.}

After struggling to swim through the water wearing a spray skirt, my cycling tights, a paddling jacket, my floppy yellow hat, my shades, a life jacket, my paddle, and water shoes, 100 feet or so to where Oz had corralled my kayak, I got really tired and really pissed. We performed a t rescue and I slid back into my cockpit, took a breather, and broke a corner of my expensive new crown (installed just about 5 months ago) on the front off on my water bottle. Cold, wet, and pissed from my strenuous slog and the 15 minutes that it took us to come together, I said, “Okay, I’m done, let’s head back. This is too much for me to handle today.”

I started paddling gently, sharing my cockpit with the 8 gallons or so of water still in my boat. Five minutes after we started paddling back, my soggy ass is in the water again. This time, it didn’t take us nearly so long to fish Apollo back out of the drink.

I nearly tipped over another time, but Ozreiuosn, who remembered our training from exactly a week ago well stayed abaft of me, so she could come quickly to my side again if I capsized for a third time. We pulled back in, came to dock, I hopped out and waddled back to the shop to towel off and get into my dry clothes. Meanwhile, Oz rinsed both our life jackets, hosed off both our kayaks, and gathered up my stuff.

Lessons:

1. You may think your friend is awesome, but if she isn’t Ozreiuosn, you’re only doing second best to me. Sorry.
2. I’m not a paddler — yet. I’m still a novice. Even though I’m absolutely enthralled with paddling, I’ve done it exactly four times.
3. A wind coming strongly from an unusual direction makes me reevaluate whether or not I’m up to the conditions today.
4. ALWAYS make sure all aspects of the craft are operational, especially the skeg, if there’s a wind.
5. Sometimes you’re doing things right and you still land in the drink. It doesn’t mean you quit.
6. I definitely need to find out why my dental crown cracked so soon, given no impact. And I better not have to pay another $1500.
7. It’s time to buy a paddle tether. I kept hold of my paddle when I went in the water. With a tether, if you have your paddle, you have your boat. If you have your boat, you have your paddle. The swim back to my kayak was frustratingly exhausting.
8. Staying calm saves the day.

Thank you, Ozreiuosn. You were totally my hero today.

Beginning Sea Kayaking

After a friend introduced me to the basics of paddling a kayak a couple of months ago, I unexpectedly enjoyed the hell out of the activity and wanted to do it more. So, I looked into a class at various shops in the area. Most of them don’t offer many courses this time of year. Last weekend, I was scheduled for a class called “Beginning Sea Kayak” at Pillar Point Harbor in Half Moon Bay. Unfortunately, my class was cancelled after the other two students backed out.

So, I asked to be placed in today’s class in the Oakland Estuary. At 8 this morning, I got a call informing me that the class wasn’t officially cancelled, but that reschedules and refunds would be offered to anyone who wanted to skip out. It rained quite torrentially yesterday and was forecast to rain all day. Still, I had spent a significant amount of money recently on wet weather gear for this very purpose. I opted to head to Oakland, knowing the weather would probably suck.

My friend, Oz, signed up and arrived about the same time. We went inside, got fitted for wet suits, spray skirts, and PFDs. We snagged a paddle, a paddle float, and a pump. I bought a couple of hats and a pair of gloves, having forgotten mine at home.

The instructor, Mark, was really informative, taught the five of us the correct strokes, safety information, and hints about rescues. We paddled over 2½ miles today, talking about forward strokes, sweeps, draws, braces, and backing strokes. The sun came out, despite a forecast of continuous rain showers. After lunch, Mark demonstrated an Eskimo roll and the two rescues we were learning—the T (or assisted) rescue and the paddle float rescue. Before long, it was time.

Water and I have not been friends for a long time. It’s been 16½ years since I was under water. Today was a time of working up the nerve to get over my longstanding apprehension around water. I was the last one to turn over. I gritted my teeth, prepared myself mentally for the wet exit and paddle float re-entry, and flipped over. It took me some time to realize that I didn’t have to swim and struggle with attempting to hang on to my paddle and the kayak. I was wearing a PFD. All I had to do was float and stop flailing around.

After I got back in my boat, it took me a little time to get all the water out of the cockpit with the crazy little pump. Getting a spray skirt back on with wet gloves is somewhat challenging. After my big plunge, we all headed back for a debriefing and more information about classes offered and a review of tides and currents. It was a great class. Sea kayaks are much more stable than most people think. I can’t wait to get out there again.

Muir Woods National Monument

Today, I wanted to get an earlier start and head up to Muir Woods National Monument. So, I called up Kai this time to see if he’d be interested in a Saturday romp in the hills above the Golden Gate Bridge. I grabbed my GPS, jumped in his little car, and we headed north.

Muir Woods National Monument is somewhat difficult to find, if you’re approaching from the Mill Valley side. The streets aren’t very well marked and the Monument is at the end of a long, windy road through residential neighborhoods. Finally, we arrived at the parking lot. I hiked over to get a map from the Visitor’s Center and Kai and I climbed 1½ miles up the Dipsea Trail, which ascends a thousand feet really quickly (and apparently, people run on it). After we descended, we headed back to the main monument entrance and wandered through Cathedral Grove and the Hillside Trail. Muir Woods is the home of one of the last stands of Coast Redwoods in the Bay Area. It’s lush, green, and mossy. If you live in the Bay Area, you should go see this magnificent place.

After we finished the main loop, Kai and I headed up the coast on Highway 1 through Stinson Beach and Bolinas. Finding nothing to eat in either town, we headed back along the magnificent Marin County coast, climbed through the woods again, and drove down to Sausalito for more walking around. Early evening in Sausalito is beautiful. What a great day.

Thanks for coming along, Kai.

Castle Rock State Park – Day 2

Today, Ernie and his buddy decided to check out Castle Rock State Park again, so I tagged along with my GPS. Ernie’s buddy, whose name I can’t remember is really loud. This time, we hiked past Castle Rock Falls and along the ridgeline around 2650 feet above sea level. There are a number of large monolithic granite outcroppings that provide a commanding view of the backside of the ridge, a valley that plunges about two thousand feet before rising up again. The views are spectacular.

We turned around about here and headed back, almost in the dark. Since we got a little of a late start, we only did about 3½ miles. But, there are many more trails to explore in Castle Rock.

Huddart County Park

In my fourth wander this week, I called up Ernie to see what he was up to. I initially planned on exploring a reservoir in the East Bay, but Ernie talked me into checking out some trails near Crystal Springs Reservoir and up at Skyline. So, we met up in San Mateo, and off we went.

The rain wasn’t terrible when we got to Sawyer Camp Trail, but we decided at the last moment to go all the way up to Skyline and explore a trail that Ernie had found previously. We got to a wide spot in the road, curbed the Subaru, and hopped out with my GPS and our rain gear to see where the trail goes.

We paralleled Highway 35 on the trail for a while, before we descended a fire road heading toward Dean Trail and the Kings Mountain Archers archery range. We dropped about 550 feet from where we started. As the rain began to increase in the forest canopy, we started to climb back toward the car on windy trails. Steep ravines and mossy undergrowth provided me with ample opportunity to take lots of great pictures. The rain was fully on us by the time we passed my GPS marker. The canopy stopped some of the rain, but I was drenched by the time we reached the car. Thankfully, Ernie’s washer and dryer are fast and got my soggy clothes ready very quickly.

Okay, so that’s what hiking in the rain is like. I think I need better gear.

Castle Rock State Park

I just returned a little while ago from my third sojourn this week—this time to Castle Rock State Park at Saratoga Gap. I’ve not really spent a lot of time in the great outdoors since I moved to California in June of 1999. I’m a creature of routine, of habit, of comfort. But, today, I had too many worries bouncing around in my head and I was antsy to get out. So, I swooped by Fry’s, bought a big 2 gig SD card for my camera, and decided, on the spur of the moment, to buy a Magellan eXplorist 100 GPS.

As luck would have it, Ernie called me as I was leaving Fry’s. We talked for a minute and decided to meet at his house in San Mateo and go explore Castle Rock together. Ernie’s an experienced backpacker, camper, and outdoorsman, so it was good to have him along. We found big rock formations, plenty of three-story-tall granite boulders, beautiful vistas, a waterfall, and an impressive network of trails. I’ll probably go check out more trails fairly soon.

Now, I’m scheming what will be my Thursday trip. Where should I go? What should I do?

Right now, though, I should sleep. 1200 feet of elevation difference and lots of climbing on all kinds of stuff, plus half a pizza in my belly, equals one very exhausted Apollo.