Commute Fail
08:04 — Look at watch. Oh, shit. I have 9 minutes to get to the train station. Get in the car and go!
08:06 — Toyota Sienna Minivan pulls out in front of me. Speed now: 12 mph. Okay, please turn right at Washington. Please, get out of my way, please, I beg you.
08:09 — Toyota Sienna Minivan waits for Toyota Camry. Speed now: 10 mph. I AM TRYING TO CATCH THE TRAIN!
08:12 — Left turn lane into Sunnyvale Caltrain parking lot. Clog of software engineering wives dropping hubbies off, while BLOCKING MY PARKING STRUCTURE.
08:13 — Caltrain arrives, boards, and leaves. I’m still not in the parking structure. Fuck.
08:14 — Depart Sunnyvale Caltrain, westbound on Evelyn Avenue. Attempt to catch northbound 08:23 Caltrain at Mountain View.
08:23 — Caltrain arrives, while I’m trying to find a place to park at Mountain View Caltrain lot. Well, so much for getting to work before 10:00. Better head back to Sunnyvale where at least there’s always parking on the roof of the parking structure.
08:31 — Drive to roof of Caltrain parking structure. Parking spots available: 0. Times this has happened before in the history of humanity: 0. Shit.
08:37 — Find parking spot at Sunnyvale Town Center Mall, careful to park in the spots not delineated by “FOUR HOUR PARKING LIMIT STRICTLY ENFORCED BETWEEN THE ARROWS“
08:54 — Caltrain arrives. I embark, while sending tardy email to coworkers. Looking up Caltrain schedule, I discover that had I continued to attempt to park at 08:14, I’d have made it aboard the 08:18 train.
10:10 — Arrive San Francisco office, late by an hour.
10:15 — Filling paper coffee cup under push handle dispenser. Attention diverted, half a cup of coffee bounces off metal table onto my crotch. Perfection achieved. Temptation to destroy Earth resisted.
That’s how you start a Tuesday.
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